Monday, 13 January 2014

Story Idea 4: Grave Mistakes - Premise, Logline and Step Outline

Coming to terms with consequences of actions.

A caring grandfather attends his grand-daughter's birthday part, only for the sins of his past to interfere with the present.

Step Outline

x Rocket Scientist (RC) wakes up and sits up in bed.
x RC walks past a window overlooking a cemetery.
x His brow furrow as faint screams rattle inside his head and an orange flash covers his face accompanied by    a quiet boom. He snaps out of it.

x RC continues walking into the kitchen and picks up a birthday invitation.
x Flashes of lab work, a huge rocket and military men with grim smiles.
x RC walks into the garden, his grand daughter runs over to him and he hugs her. The party in full swing; kids    jumping on a bouncy castle, buffet table and balloons. RC goes to sit down on a garden bench.
x RC sits quietly as the party carries on. Flashes of an nuclear atrocity replace the party and RC's eyes begin    to tear up.

Any and all feedback on this is appreciated.


  1. Hey Kyle, I really like the idea of remorse in your story. Just a suggestion on how you could start the animation (not sure if it possible!) but here it goes: What if you have your rocket scientist waking up from a nightmare? All cold and sweaty? The boom sound that woke him was actually the sound of Firecrackers from the party that was happening at his garden? So when you have the flash backs, it might be clearer why he was feeling guilty and sad.

    1. Hey Ayunie :D
      Love it! Really kewl idea, I might tone it down to his breathe catching in his throat as he wakes up
      What ya think? Don't want to give much away straight from the get go ;)

    2. Yeam that'll be a good one :)